Letter to Sameer

Dear Sameer,

I’m writing you because we’ve finally took a rest. Dude, I haven’t seen you in ages. It kinda sucks that we’re separated now; I think that if you were here I’d be able to survive. But I can’t do this by myself, man. I nearly freeze to death every night, mainly because I don’t sleep. The fear of an ambush completely takes over my life. Every little sound I hear makes me jump. Even rain makes me get out my gun! My life has become a battle, and my world is a battlefield. If I put it that way, my life is the Chattanooga, that’s the battle I’m fighting in now.

My living conditions as a Confederate, as I was telling you, are brutal. Everyone around here is so mad, they keep saying, “It’s all because of those dumb slaves!”, and then others say, “Yeah! Coming in here asking for jobs! We gave it to em! And now they don’t want them anymore?!” I don’t want slavery around here; it doesn’t belong in this country. But if I say that out loud they’ll probably shoot me to death. That’s another problem here, no one works together. Everyone just looks out for themselves and no one else. I got into a fight with this guy I used to share a tent with, just cause I didn’t want any slaves around anymore. Since that day I kept quiet, and that’s what I’m doing now. I keep quiet, keep to myself, and just shoot the gun when I’m supposed to. I live of off the same 2 pair of clothes, a green jumpsuit, and a white t-shirt and jeans. I fight in the green jumpsuit, and walk around the unit in my t-shirt and jeans. We can’t wash them, we can, but, I’m too afraid to go washing em by myself, and ending up getting hit from the back or something. Yeah, that’s how paranoid I am. I’m so paranoid about this whole war that I barely eat. You have to understand Sameer that my “partners”, are also murderers, their people that have killed other people because of their race. They’ve beaten their slaves, isolated them, stripped away their dignities, and some have killed them. Why? Cause they didn’t follow the rules. That’s what they always say, “You gotta follow the rules, then everything will be alright”. That’s why I barely ever eat, I don’t want one of those murderers to poison my food. So when I get a chance, I get some food and just eat it by myself.

I don’t wanna fight anymore Sameer, I wanna go home to my father. The reason of fighting this war is so pointless! There aint no need for a war, everyone knows we don’t need slaves. Everyone knows it’s unfair to have slaves. They just wanna fight, and that’s why they’re here. To fight! To kill more people than they’ve already killed; and I don’t wanna be a part of that. I wish I could come to the Union side, I can’t stand how lonesome I feel, how scared I feel. And besides, I’m the only one in my family fighting on this side, all because I WAS on this side. Shouldn’t have gone to stupid college. I wanna be where you are, and were my family are. Where they treat everyone equally and with respect.

Love you man,

Phaedro (Phaedra)