From Brian, To Scott

December 14, 1862

Dear Scott, (Devin)

Who came up with the stupid idea that we had to fight against eachother? I really miss you. I have no idea who these people are around me. I only saw a few friends and family members, but i have heard that many friends died. When is this going to be over? We’re all going through hell.
We had noticed that your troops have arrived near Fredericksburg, November 21. It’s sad that your commander couldn’t wait for our troops in the northwest and that he immediately directed all of his army toward Fredericksburg. Because of Burnside’s numerical advantage in troop strength, I was convinced that your leader couldn’t attack our troops effectively. We had crossed the Rappahannock River and occupied Fredericksburg.
As you know, the battle opened south of the city at 8:30 a.m. yesterday on December 13. Our unit was huge, and we had used hundreds of weapons. We had nearly two hundred cannon in position. I’m fighting for the key union member Burnside. My life as a Union Soldier is really tough. The air was full with shot and shell flying over our heads into Fredericksburg. I got shot in the chest but the nurse helped me. It was awful. Thousands of Union men were trapped on the fields leading to the heights. All night long, the dying lay untended on the battlefield. Can you imagine? Oh Scott, it was horrible. The shattered masses of the enemy had disappeared in the town, leaving the field covered with dead and wounded. I can truthfully say that in that moment, I gave my life up. I do not expect ever again to face death more certainly than I thought I did then...
We live in camps; we drill all day and night. We have to wear uniforms made on treadle sewing machines. A dress code for all soldiers is strictly enforced except when they were on the battlefield. Anyone found in violation is made to pay a fine. The uniforms are tough, but they are terrible! We wear some sort of blue, usually dark blue uniforms. We are issued loose-fitting blue sack coats with 4 brass buttons.The most common color for the army-issue shirt is grey, followed by navy blue or white. The shirt is made of coarse wool and is a pullover style with 3 buttons. If my wifes see’s me like this, she will probably get a hard attack.
We fought like real strong men for our fatherland and to protect our community. Thank god I’m still alive. I hope your still okay, and not wounded. It’s a shame that I had to fight against you, but I wouldn’t have change sides. We have to pray. For the soldiers that still alive and for the dead. I’m glad that I survived, but I really want to go home now. Say hi to our friends and your family for me.

Take care my friend and I ’ll never forget you!

With all my love,

Brian (Alaïa)